I stole my idea for this edition of The Session. Nicked it entirely. Beer Daily Haiku wrote about boilermakers and a synapse twinked and winked not that far from my brain stem. Over the decades, I recalled this obnoxious habit of high school weekend parties back around 1980. Quite a foul one. This is what I recollect: you took the beer someone stole from one guy's dad and poured really bad rot guy rye stolen from some other guy's dad and drank it. I recall some foul thing in a pint bottle with the brand "Little Brown Jug" was preferred by some guy's dad. Voila. My first beer cocktail and likely the only one that I had more than once - even still.

Except... I then recalled there was a finer version - called the "Depth Charge" - which required a bar shot glass to be placed at the bottom of the beer glass. The shot glass was either fulled with rye and dropped through the beer foundering as it went. Or was the full shot glass first placed into the bottom of the empty glass and the beer carefully poured around it so that the rye sat undisturbed. In any case, the thing was downed at once with the rye hitting your mouth after the cooler beer was already down your cake hole. The inversion of beer as chaser. Those familiar with matters naval will recognize the term "depth charge" relates to those bombs dropped into the ocean to blow up submarines. The Royal Navy used them to great effect to destroy the U-boat domination of the North Atlantic once they realized that the Nazi wolf pack needed to be treated like the hunter and not the hunted. Hence the name of the drink.

That's it. My beer cocktail story. And I have referenced underage drinking as well as the Nazis. Now I am wondering how I can work in a consideration of what is appropriate beer fan behaviour: the question of should I have a Depth Charge right now after almost 30 years. Or should I leave this behind as I do other childish things.¹ I raise this question now because of what I now understand is my duty, a duty that is recalled whenever I read things like this:

...this whole thing has drawn on too long. Can we get back to positive posts, supporting craft beer and our local breweries and put this in the past? ...this negative aspect of the BA forums is a downer, enough already.

I am verklempt. Imagine being unsupportive. How sad. I want to be better than that. Don't you? I want to be positively and blindly supportive. Huzzahs all around for that. I should do my duty. But should a supportive and line toe-ing-ly dutiful beer supporter make a depth charge or not? What beer would I use? Which spirit? I can't figure it out - but it's only 5:45 pm. The night is young. Maybe it'll come to me.

¹After all, when I was a child I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I fought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things. There - underage drinking, the Nazis and scripture. This post is working out.

I have not been the biggest fan of mixing beers with "not beer" fluids but don't forget to try this twittering idea for today's version of The Session. Here is the "how to" from March. Follow at Twitter Search.

Quick - what is the person next to you talking about when he says this:

To get a representative recheck sample you need to probe your bins. Of course, the design of some bins can make this a challenge. That's why it's important to choose bins that can be easily probed when you are dealing with...

UK trash cans? No! This and more is all about managing your malting barley crop and brought to you by the good folks at the Canadian Wheat Board. We - you and I - take our malting barley for granted. Be honest. We talk about this hop or that, this adjunct or the other and even the odd yeast strain or two. But barley malt? We never mention it except for the better home brewers and those few beer nerds who can tell their Golden Promise from Maris Otter. Are you that nerd?

It is really too bad as there is a difference in malting grains that is more than whether the brew is made of two or six row barley or even if it has wheat or oat malt thrown in. But we rarely get beers made with the focus on the malt these days - its one of those subtleties that are totally obliterated in those beer concentrates most are chasing these days. It really can't stand up to those fancy pants crystal or chocolate malts either. Isn't even Burton too much? The English ordinary bitter or pale ale surely is the apex of pale malted barley presentation. Sadly, it is far too rare around these parts despite all the pales that I have had the chance to try. What I'd give for a regular supply of something like Pitchfolk.

Why a great big strapping Scots ale mid-week? Taxes done, that's why. I hate doing taxes. I hate all government forms. I make errors. I expect someone to call me up and ask "why?" and all I can reply is "I have no idea." I had to apply for a passport recently, too. It has been a tough stretch.

So, something nice from the stash - this tartaned offering from London's Meantime Brewing. It pours a dark cola mahogany with a fine mocha foam and rim. On the nose there is cocoa with a bit of molasses or even apple butter, that southwest Ontario German treat. In the mouth, more of those flavours with a bit of burnt toast scrape as well as minty twiggy hopping that falls short of cutting the gentle cloy. Very soft in the mouth and gently carbonated. Nicely reassuring in these times of burdensome government forms. Sadly, only one brewing according to the interwebs. Sic transit gloria Scoti.

Rich and abiding admiration from the BAers. By the way, did you know that they have their own tartan? It is tough to make out, however, as it is black on black.

One day. Maybe. Perhaps. It is sort of a cyclical thing but something tells me Progressive Conservative Leadership Candidate Randy Hillier might be a little more adamant on this promise than past politicians in opposition:

“Dalton McGuinty is costing local Ontario businesses millions of dollars, to the benefit of foreign-owned breweries.” Hillier proposes to allow corner stores to be able to sell wine and beer. As well restaurants, bars and hotels would be able to sell off-sales to further help their businesses. “These changes will help Ontario’s service industry grow and prosper, and provide more options for Ontarians” continued Hillier.

We've talked about this before and others like Cass have actually tried doing something about it. It is something of a no brainer. Seeing as populous southern Ontario is surrounded by the "beer in corner store" jurisdictions of Michigan, New York and Quebec, this idea that there is anything culturally significant is a bit silly. One has to make and accept the argument that we need greater control than our neighbours for that to work. Heck, the provincial government declared it was going to open up private beer sales 24 years ago but then backed off. But it does get you wondering about the possibilities. I don't know what you think about it but wouldn't "A Good Beer Shop" be a catchy name for a store specializing in fine craft beer, cravats and berets, tasty beef jerky and other appropriate snacking products?

I grew up in the eastern older part of Canada where it was not unknown a few decades ago for things like truck loads of gravel and other public benefit being conferred on the loyal after a winning campaign. It was also not unknown for a mickey - or pint - of hard liquor to be placed in hands in return for the expectation of a vote. So it is with a somewhat wistful eye that I see that such days may be well and truly over at the far end of the country on Canada's left coast:

"Why should you vote?" read the poster, which bore the logo of the BC Liberal Party. "Meet Bill Bennett and grab a free beer on Bulldog's" it added, urging people to come by on May 5 at 8 p.m. so they could "learn how to vote" and "get the facts, not fiction." When reporters first asked [rival New Democratic Party leader Carole] James about the issue, she had yet to see the poster, but said she thought the concept was concerning. "That would certainly concern me," she said after hearing a description of the event. "It seems to me it would be against anything in the elections act. I'd want to take a look at it."

While I can appreciate the closing of bars on election day or banning the handing out of rum on the drive to the polling booth, this sort of reaction does seem to smack a bit of hypocrisy. Consider the likelihood of political receptions or fundraisers in wine-laden British Columbia this election where a glass of something red or white will be served. Consider also the likelihood that a a cheese tray or perhaps even those pricey warmed up snacks on sticks are on offer. Here is a Federal Green party... party with wine. Sure, it is not an election but does that really matter? And here is a cache of one candidate's website for a fundraiser where wine was offered. Here is another event called the Leader's Levee one where the BC NDP leader Carole James herself was in attendance last fall. Were the glasses and snacks handed to only those who paid more than the $125 to $150 to get in either the levee or the fundraiser?

Furthermore, do you care? Outside of getting the voters hammered on voting day, isn't this all a bit overwrought?

My strong negative reaction to Victor yesterday was, as I said, very surprising. I have loved every other beer Allagash makes and have no intention of stopping my deep and rewarding relationship with that brewery. But after the beer went down the sink, I was thinking how the flavours I responded to were so similar to ones that I think I have rejected before. Four years ago, I noted how I disliked the flavours of the beers by Creemore Springs. There was something in the Victor that actually reminded me of Creemore Bock, an organic sourish smoke-ish taste that is neither exactly sour or smoky. There may have been a hint of it in Dogfish Golden Shower as well, though my notes don't exactly say it. It is not the wet cardboard flavour that is indicative of one sort of badly made or over the hill beer so much as a damp grain thing that reminds me of a old barn but without the poo of the barnyard.

It's a husky flavour that I come across from time to time in well made pale lagers which makes me turn away while others are merrily kicking them back. Here's the thing: I wonder sometimes if this really isn't about the beer but something in the nature of my own personal taste function. Frankly, I will eat anything - sushi, blue cheese, weird root vegetables and, yes, haggis. The very idea of haggis and mashed boiled turnip is actually something that gets my mouth watering as, after all, we Scots have a cuisine that is based on a dare. But this particular taste is line nails on the chalkboard to me. Just the recollection of it can make me a touch nauseous. It's not about whether the food or drink is well made or not a matter of preferring other tastes to this one. It is like a toggle switch flips when this taste is present and you may as well be asking me to sip bug repellent. Sadly, Victor was the strongest example of this I have met yet.

So, a long way of saying, is there anyone else who has the same reaction? Is there something you literally cannot stomach for no apparent reason?

[Ed.: Note the comments where Greg from Allagash corrects some of my less than stellar observations. But check here for thoughts on my questionable taste.]

Have you ever had a surprise disappointment? I got a bunch of Allagash brews last year, stashed them to great benefit and loved them all... until now. Their Victor just wasn't not doing it for me at all. This being the age of Twitter, I did twut thusly:

Yuk. Allagash Victor reminds me of Molson Brador gone bad. To be fair, I hated chardonnay long before this beer ever hit that cask. Bye $$$.

In the end, a straight sink pour after two half mouthfuls. The alcohol stood out like a half ounce of poor rye in 750 ml. I don't recommend anyone tries white wine cask conditioning before drinking this beer. A good try, a noble experiment, a 700 ml addition to Lake Ontario via the water treatment plant. I need a tonic. Look, the Sox are up against the Yanks and I need something to sip. So, I call upon the gods of Jolly Pumpkin to save the day.

The bottle is marked "blend #9, 2007" and was likely fresh when I visited there a year and a half ago. It's the only bottling of this beer without a review at the brewery's web forum. Boy, will "sbearorg" be ticked. The beer pours deep smoked amber under a thick fine rich cream head. On the nose, vanilla and cherry and raspberry and balsamic and so oloroso sherry. Wow. A big swish around the cheeks finds this one halfway between a gueuze and a Flemish red. Not heavy. A bit tart, a bit dry oaky, a lot of barnyard and a bit faded fruit.

Lovely, bright and cheery. Just the thing. Oddly, a solid BAer tie with the Victor. Each were bought at the brewery, the Jolly Pumpkin was half the price.

Not baseball so much as base ball. Old style. Old school. 1870s to be exact. And here is the thing. We are hosting some US players next week and I know there are a lot of clever US readers of this here beer blog. I came across the fact that the anthem of the US of A back then was not The Star Spangled Banner but Hail Columbia. Here is the music. Here are the lyrics. Does anyone know how it sounds when it is sung? I know, I know - follow the euphonium's notes for the melody but it's not quite working in this case.