What is it about good beer that makes people layer ridiculous claims over it, against it or in its favour. What did beer do to deserve this? It's just a fluid of simple natural ingredients that offers a little intoxication and a little nutrition. I had a Korea tea today made of green tea and brown rice. Something like this. Simple. Tasty. Like beer without the buzz. Why can't beer be happy to be like that Korean tea? Here's a few of the beer claims which have passed by in recent days:
⇒ Beer goes not cause weight gain: Again, with the magic of beer. Advocates of this silliness need to rely on the "guns don't kill people, people do" argument as it is clear that beer has a significant number of calories and if you do not reduce your other caloric intake or begin to run daily, yes, beer will make you fatter. Unless you drink it in daily 100 ml doses. And if you swap out food for beer - what other nutrients are you losing? Note: it's "industry-sponsored research" produced for the British Beer and Pub Association. Crystal Luxmore has a far more balanced view which includes a pragmatic warning to craft beer nerds.
⇒ You need to buy the glass: Advanced marketing science in the hands of US big craft have brought us the next thing - an IPA specific glass. Tragically, there is no double IPA version. Mr. B makes the point that the glass itself is harmless but, as with so many things related to good beer, much effort is being made to manufacture need. Me, I swirl the beer in whatever glass by - ready for it - slow movement of my hand. Experiment if you dare taking on unbranded responsibility.
⇒ Valentine's means beer with chocolate: Brave is the man who tries this without giving warning. Sam Adams Boston Lager? Let me know how the relationship weathers that one, will you? Beers with chocolate flavour added? Safer but I'd still recommend giving fair warning. Days ahead. Likely too late now already. Perhaps plan for 2014 now. Or take Jordan's advice and do something that's self-evidently slightly nuts and may well actually taste good.
⇒ Beer innovation drives opportunity: Fun following along with the hashtag #beerinnovation today as marketing and PR placed adjectives like "passionate," "inspiring," "brilliant" and "excellent" before nouns like "networking" and "growth" and "future"! Hey, I didn't type that exclamation mark!! Or those!!! Clearly, the computer is getting excited about inspring growth and a brilliant networking future. Best of all, it was a summit which is great because summits are brilliant.
Can we live without these things? Are we better off without them? Is beer? Imagine a world where people respect beer as an energy powerhouse, drank from normal glassware, gave loved ones treats the loved ones liked and passed on the saving from not layering marketing costs on to your beer. Simpler, cheaper, better balanced and happier. Like hyeonmi nokcha. Or yesterday's parsnip soup. Who wouldn't want that?
Comments
Craig - February 12, 2013 10:37 PM
I am a personally a fan of my tapered 1/2 liter glass with the Community Beer Works logo on it, thank you very much.
Alan - February 12, 2013 11:23 PM
I like that logo. I like branding drawn by the brewer as opposed to a consultant.
leigh - February 13, 2013 4:25 AM
Totally agree with all; especially the 'beer is not fattening' headline. Dangerous.
Bailey - February 13, 2013 5:05 AM
What's weirdest is when people see a story like "beer isn't fattening" and say "Well, I knew that anyway." Not because they've carried out research, obviously, but because they like beer, and have *faith* in it.
(Oops -- suggesting there might be any downsides to beer is as good as joining a temperance movement and/or lobbying for prohibition, right?)
tandleman - February 13, 2013 6:31 AM
If beer isn't making you fat, you aren't drinking enough of it. Wake up and contribute.
Alan - February 13, 2013 7:15 AM
I blame democracy and economic parity. In the good old days when me and mine were oppressed servants and labourers, our betters insisted on long hours which kept us exhausted so that whatever good our meager food and drink gave us went to survival.
Alan - February 13, 2013 7:46 AM
Some wizards proudly skimp on actual nutrition in favour of beer. I was once in undergrad, too. Bet it works for cake as well.
ATJ - February 13, 2013 9:45 AM
Fattening story — it’s a bit like the red wine is good for you story, a lot of people still need these excuses (you know the ‘I deserve a treat’ and ‘a little bit is good for you’ rubbish — it’s just the infantilisation of our modern life). I’m all for drinking immoderately (in moderation of course) while everything is fattening if you have enough of it, even I suspect sushi. And as for Valentine’s, my wife can’t stand it, which is fine by me, nothing wrose than handing your wife a card over breakfast with the words guess who inside…
Craig - February 13, 2013 10:52 AM
Wait a minute—as a many time, and many topic, logo designer, I'm technically a consultant.
Alan - February 13, 2013 11:32 AM
I thought you were an employee! Surely not the galloping consultant seeking leads and networks, you.
Jeff Alworth - February 13, 2013 1:36 PM
It's especially fattening if you're drinking a 20-ounce glass of 7% IPA. A couple of those bad boys and you've had a third of your daily calories.
I get together with a group of middle-aged friends every week, and three of them are trying to lose weight. They all work out like bastards on Wednesdays to offset those evening calories. Given the modest health benefits of beer, they're probably way ahead of the game that way, but I doubt it's a common practice.
Alan - February 13, 2013 2:03 PM
I am trying to figure out my point, Jeff, but there is a space in the scale of frequency and volume of daily fluid intake where beer fits between litres of water and less than a tablespoons of steak sauce. This is a handy conversion chart which would indicate your pal's 40z of 7% represents 710 calories. Or an hour of non-stop climbing up a hill with a 42 lb backpack.
Another reason for session beer?
Alan - February 13, 2013 2:05 PM
Or, instead, they could have 40 oz of water into which they have stirred a full cup of refined white sugar.
ethan - February 13, 2013 6:22 PM
I am flattered! But, as regards the glassware thing, I don't think it's a requirement at all, but I do think that presentation matters. A mason jar will deliver the beer to yr mouth every bit as well as a fancy chalice, no question. But it's fun, for some, to drink from branded and cool-shaped glassware- like the stemmed mason jar my buddy prefers. I see little harm in it. Every industry has its share of foofy foofery for the foof-inclined- and the critics of same. S'all good.
But when we finally design our imperial Scottish-style sour Alt w/ blood-orange glassware, I won't expect an order from Kingston or Albany :)
Jeff Alworth - February 13, 2013 6:51 PM
Yeah, they should be drinking session beers, but they're Oregonians. You'd quicker get a Bavarian to drink an IPA.
Craig - February 13, 2013 8:02 PM
Ethan don't ay that I'll gladly accept your free glassware. Do you need a consultation for the logo of your imperial Scottish-style sour Alt w/ blood-orange?
ethan - February 13, 2013 9:05 PM
Craig, I would gladly hand you the challenge of desigining the logo for that. And we'll need a name for such tomfoolery. Maybe something along the lines of Alistair "Red" MacMüller's Mad Ale.
Alan - February 14, 2013 4:25 PM
A case is made for the silly looking glass.
Ron pattinson - February 14, 2013 5:36 PM
"You need to buy the glass"
I think you should. Stealing glasses is just, er, stealing.
Alan - February 14, 2013 6:33 PM
Probably bought less than half my glassware. Swag and promos.
Ethan - February 14, 2013 6:36 PM
I wonder if they'll ever design a glass that you can only drink out of the wrong side of, like the ol' hiccup remedy. 'Cause I think that'd be a lot of fun.
The Beer Simpleton - February 19, 2013 12:58 AM
Interesting take on why beer itself is not responsible for weight gain. On that line of thinking salads and vegetables would fall into the same category of eating too much will cause weight gain. I'm sure that this is possible in an extreme case, but when is the last time we saw a person with a "salad belly"?
Jimmy B - February 19, 2013 8:31 AM
How many people down 6 salads in one sitting.
Alan - February 19, 2013 9:59 AM
Waiter: Sir, surely you have had your fill of the garden salad. You've had four!
Salad drink: Then bring me your finest Caeser and make it a large! [burps vegetatively]
Waiter: [walking away, muttering] What a senseless waste of human life.
Alutins - February 27, 2013 10:45 PM
Ahh typos. Luxmore: "I tend to choose beers that are made from all barley, rather than corn or rice, because of barley's high silicone content..."
But what about this regarding the meaning of calories:
http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2013/02/have-we-been-miscounting-calorie.html?rss=1
I would wager that 40 oz of beer requires a lot more energy to metabolize than 40 oz of sugar water. Especially ice-cold beer - how much energy does it take our bodies to warm it up to body temp?