It's funny when arseholes tell you that you are only treated as a fool because you don't understand things as profoundly as they do. In web design the arsehole's joke went like this: "Funny? If you understood that joke on as many levels as I do, you'd really know what funny meant." This article on the Shelton Brothers empire-ette has that particular funk:
"I hate beer writers," he said. "You can ask them; they hate me, too. They call me arrogant and opinionated. They think I'm a real asshole. But, hey, what can you expect? I was trained as a lawyer." By doing little more than parroting the marketing-speak of advertising companies, Dan believes American beer writers are largely to blame for an industry and drinking public that's more taken with gimmickry than artistry. "The attitude seems to be, 'It's all good.' No one's willing to criticize a beer they don't like, and when I do, I'm told I'm just trying to sell the beers I import. I've had fights with beer reviewers who want to believe that you can't be objective about beer. It's all subjective, they say. You like what you like."
Oh dear. As a lawyer, I can see it. Can you? Anyone who actually says "I was trained as a lawyer" has moved well into the arsehole-esque zone. Reminds me of another joke: "What do you call a doctor who got "D" in anatomy? Doctor." You get why the verb "to shelt" was invented, right? Don't get me wrong. I have liked many of the High and Mighty beers of Will Shelton discussed in the article and also plenty of the beers that the brotherhood has imported. I have liked some a lot. But not all of them. Their business may be successful and have taken a lot of hard work but one can still ask valid questions about value and selection. In that they are like most other brewers and importers. Actually, in every way they are like that. Because that is what they are.
It's an interesting counterpoint, when you think of it, to the emotional tug of that really swell guy who is the face of the new and time shifting TV show Brew Masters. Read the tweets. Giggly people want to know Sam. He's so great. Who wouldn't want a fawning relationship? Sheltons? Arseholes - but they're so deep. Those in the know want an abusive dependent relationship. Why does anyone care? We shouldn't. If you care about the personality of those who who make and provide your beer, well, you should ask if you have the same concern for those who make your cheese, your car's tires or your socks. You don't, do you. Make the beer prove itself each time.
Comments
Stan Hieronymus - December 3, 2010 12:20 AM
And this just in from beernews.org:
Nogne O Two Captains is an 8.5% ABV Double IPA with 100 IBUs. It is already on tap in some select U.S. locations but the beer recently received bottle label approval as well.
According to Sales Manager, Scott Larrick, “Yes, we have sent draft to the US, but not bottles yet. We have some bottles ready to send, but [importer, the Shelton Brothers] actually wanted more than we had available in the second batch so we plan to do a third batch. I do not expect a container to leave here until January, so bottles will probably not be on shelves in the US until around March.”
Alan - December 3, 2010 8:45 AM
I woke up thinking that I was way too harsh and then it struck me. All this celebrity and strong character craft beer personality stuff - it's just like 1970s professional wrestling. Especially the Atlantic Grand Prix Wrstling of my youth. You have the fun characters, the mean ones as well as the odd balls. So, maybe we need to assign them their pro wrestler namesakes to aid in understanding. Maybe the Sheltons are just our Killer Karl Krupp. Who is our Dino Bravo? Who is our Cuban Assassin?
olllllo - December 3, 2010 2:19 PM
An equally compelling question is who are the "scientific wrestlers" versus who are the "rule-breaker" wrestlers.
Jeff Alworth - December 3, 2010 2:47 PM
Well, it's all just a fight between the tiny clique of nerds over in the corner. Beer writers? A fun party trick I like to play is to ask the average person "name one beer writer." In the vanishingly small number of cases where I happened across another fellow-traveler, I got "Michael Jackson" and once, "Randy Mosher."
To really drive home the point, ask people to name a single wine writer. Most are able to come up with Robert Parker at least.
The best known beer writers are like the tallest mountains of Kansas. I don't know why anyone would spend valuable emotional energy hating them.
Alan - December 3, 2010 6:21 PM
So, I suppose, we might also play the game of name one beer importer.
Craig H - December 3, 2010 7:18 PM
I work for a beer importer, and I write tasting notes & beer descriptions about our beers to help sell them.
In my opinion,
1. Beer information - from blogs, magazines, books, commercial descriptions, & bartenders - helps beer drinkers know what to look for and helps them define their preferences.
2. The beer speaks directly to a person, but not until that person drinks it . . . maybe not until it's paired with The Perfect Meal. And information can help that person narrow his choices down.
3. Beer writers can be opinionated or even arrogant - if sincere, a little vitriol can help provide balance & interest. But I am less enamoured of arrogance in someone who is selling something: for me, it's hard to believe any salesperson who runs down the competition's widget.
Craig - December 3, 2010 7:28 PM
I'm not giggly. Am I giggly... 'cause I think I need to know if I'm giggly. It's a personal pride thing.