It really is embarrassing sometimes, you know, explaining you are... errr... Canadian. Nice people, not ever really going to do anything too crazy people, the sort of people you can leave your car keys with. But just don't expect us to be able to keep up with those international madmen of fun, the Dutch:

They would set up a nightly celebration, with the sponsorship of beer giant Heineken, in a hockey arena complex near Richmond's Olympic speed skating oval. Just as it did in all those other Olympic countries, Holland-Heineken House would bring in its own equipment, cook up national delicacies, serve beer and bring in a few hundred Dutch nationals to host a free party and throw around some Dutch culture for thousands of people. For three weeks, the public would get to mingle with Dutch athletes, celebrities, politicians and maybe even the Dutch royals as the draft taps flow. It is essentially shipping in a piece of Holland to Canada; it's usually one of the Olympics' hits and it's been welcomed in every country.

But not in Canada. Canada - where we don't want no stinking free Dutch beer parties. We have rules about these sorts of things. Plenty of rules. And rules are way more important than fun. Canada: where people may well put on their gravestones "I did what I was told."