I know these police press releases are intended to help us all get through the weekend safe and and sound and in one piece more or less. However, this interview with a member of the Ontario Provincial Police contains an interesting concept - how to legally drink in a canoe in this fair province:

Under the Liquor Licence Act of Ontario, it is an offence to consume alcohol in a moving boat (this includes canoes and sailboats) unless a licence or permit, designating the boat a "private place," allows you to do so. Sgt. Dave Goodbrand, Barrie Police media spokesperson, outlines what a boat needs to be "private."

"Number one, it has to be anchored; number two, it has to have a fixed, permanent kitchen, galley-style, as in a cooking facility – you can’t just throw a barbecue on it; (the kitchen) has to be fixed and approved," Goodbrand tells The Advance. "Also, it has to have a fixed head or toilet – not a port-a-potty – but one that has to have the capacity to pump water out of the boat. But even with a kitchen and a head, you can’t be cruising around with it. The boat has to be stationary for us to look at it as a 'private place'."

Have you ever been in an anchored stationary canoe? Or one with a galley or a head? Why don't they just say no drinking in an canoe for God's sake. What Sgt. Dave did not note is that one of Canada's most popular craft exports, Unibroue's Maudite, has a canoe on the label and celebrates the Quebecois legend of The Flying Canoe about homesick drunk voyageurs. Maybe that's where this regulatory scheme really started as everything seems to go badly sideways when the lads with the red sashes and big moustacheos seal a pact with the Devil so that they can fly the canoe back home.