A Good Beer Blog

-------

Have you read The Unbearable Nonsense of Craft Beer - A Rant in Nine Acts by Alan and Max yet? It's out on Kindle as well as Lulu.

Maureen Ogle said this about the book: "... immensely readable, sometimes slightly surreal rumination on beer in general and craft beer in particular. Funny, witty, but most important: Smart. The beer geeks will likely get all cranky about it, but Alan and Max are the masters of cranky..."

Ron Pattinson said: "I'm in a rather odd situation. Because I appear in the book. A fictional version of me. It's a weird feeling."


Comments

Comments are locked. No additional comments may be posted.

Andrew Jones -

Dear Beer Blog Sir. I sent in a poem that I felt needed - well, more. So here is the entire poem - in history so to speak. Please delete my earlier submitted poem - for this one is complete.

Thank You - Andrew Jones (California, MD)

Tradition in History

I

Olde Enkidu unwashed bestial man
Took bread & beer from prostitutes hand
Gilgamesh’s trickery custom of the land

Ancient oral sages tell of beasts & beer
Nectar of the gods & Sumerian cheer
One man’s tomfoolery turns another’s to fear

Seven beers & Enkidu’s heart soared
Liquid gold was mightier than the sword
One man’s weakness is another’s restored

Ninkasi hymn of devotion & bliss
Was it the beer or the prostitute’s kiss
That sent Enkidu into the human abyss

What elixir turns animal to human
As it passes through the intestinal lumen
Somehow makes most men subhuman

II

Grain-growing wusa from heaven
Emmer wheat brewed from Egyptian leaven
Replica passed on from Tutankhamun

Beer bible author James Death
Wrote about its history with his every breath
Drank even by Shakespearian’s Macbeth

Early humans cultivated barley & wheat
Drove the nomadic life into defeat
Village life was now reinforced in concrete

Brewing knowledge passed from culture to culture
Fermented in Greek, Roman & English climature
Ceres green thumb – goddess of agriculture

Thracians brytos made different from rye
Hellanicus of Lesbos operas did sigh
Sing thy opus of brutos upon high

III

Water mostly spoiled by human waste
Preferred ale to quench their taste
Middle Ages dark, dingy & displaced

Bitter the age made good by hops
French cultivated aplenty a crops
For their ingenuity we must give them their props

Monastery monks and artisan brew masters
Took homemaking brewing and made it faster
For mass consumption without nasty aster

Ale or beer whatever one calls it
Unhopped or hopped in 15th century Britt
Purification tied to a judicial writ

Brewers Company of London went so far as to state
“No hops, herbs or other” will desecrate
Our ale which we honor and stipulate

IV

Reinheitsgebot of William IV from Bavaria
Became the standard brew law & all its hysteria
Something about Germans & their quest for purity criteria

History cannot dispute German beer pleasure
The Gebot gave us a boldly aromatic treasure
That few cultures can replicate or measure

The French Pasteur’s important added piece
Now water, barley, hops & yeast
Another Frenchman ordains our liquid feast

Another century & an accidental brew
The Lager was born in a cavernous debut
Crisper taste & a wonderful hue

Europeans preserved the art & craft
Passed down from ancient handcraft
This gave them a splendid draught

V

America born - & beer brewing continues
Innovation to brewing brings rave reviews
Thermometer & hydrometer was all the news

Maltsters and brewers worked hand in hand
To damper the fire that dried malt fanned -
Smokeless malt was all the demand

Once malt’s drying problem was figured out
Multi-malt beers became the entire shout
Dark roasted porters & flavorful stouts

An invention by Wheeler & his roaster drum
Made beer all the better – better than rum
An invention from heaven that’s time had come

Mankind’s gluttony & drunkard’s frustration
Governmental laws and heavy taxation
Turned back the hands of time without reservation

VI

Coutts development of continuous fermentation
Made modern day beer making an abomination
By taking out the individualization

Business was booming & so was the nation
Foxtrot, jiggerbug was all the sensation
Women at home wanting rights and voter registration

Their movement brought down the brewing establishment
Liquor wasn’t without their abatement
This brought on a new accompaniment

Bootlegging thugs and racketeering careers
Drew upon American’s worst fears
An alcohol-less country could go on for years

Prohibition killed the craftsmen’s diligence
Subduing the palette’s consciousness
Into benign taste buds & unconsciousness

VI

Time continued and companies made huge profits
As our zombie forefathers drank to their hearts contents
The light-beered lager was the staple of their diets

The craft-brewed interest sparked a revolution
With pale ales, pilsners, weisbiers in old tradition
Hearty Bohemian & the Belgians contribution

It is with crisp elegance and a refined mission
That they keep brewing not in an American tradition
But for the History of brewing in all its sensation

Beer or ale – call it what you will
Served room temperature or chilled
Will sure to give you your ultimate thrill

Hudson Valley TAP New York 2008
Alan McLeod & his Good Beer Blog we appreciate
& all the fine food on our Hudson Valley plate

By Andrew Jones
California, MD

Alan -

You, sir, are showing a certain interest in those tickets.