Sadly, it appears that one sicky fingered felony in Chicago misunderstood this week's news about beer goggles:

Police in the Chicago suburb of Buffalo Grove are asking for the public's help in returning a $150 pair of special goggles that are used to simulate the effects of intoxication. Officers say the goggles disappeared this week from a table at a National Night Out event at a local park. Officer Hector De La Paz says police believe the goggles were taken by accident.

Why is it clear that Hector is wrong in his belief? Clearly he has not read the Telegraph's reports that in fact beer goggles do make people do look more attractive...to the point that up to 24 hours after a rather modest drink, men scored the attractiveness of faces about 10 per cent higher than the non-drinkers. One researcher stated that the findings are important because of the role drink plays in unsafe sex. He may as well have said they were important because of the role it plays in courtship and wedding parties as well.