This story is sad, pathetic, sick and still sort of funny in that way that makes you know you still retain something of a twelve year old wee bastard in you:
The elephants gorged on the beer on Sunday night after taking apart casks kept outside by local villagers and ran through a nearby paddy field that had an electrical pole running through it. A wildlife activist, Dipu Marak, said: "One of the elephants tried rubbing his back against an electric pole passing through the paddy field. "The pole was unable to withstand the animal's weight and it caved in, bringing the elephant in direct contact with the live wire." Witnesses and wildlife officials said other elephants tried to come to the rescue of the adult male as it writhed in pain and trumpeted loudly. "It was a pathetic sight to see one elephant after another getting electrocuted in front of our eyes", said a village elder.What is even sadder is when I thought "now what would the anti-alcohol set make of this?" There has been much talk about the weird claims brought against beer and those that drink it. Jay drops the hammer and goes after some writer who in passing refers to "...other possible sources of crime like beer consumption..." And this the day after Jay had to deal with the news (care of the Zythophile) that doctors lie when it comes to beer - not to mention the Soviet artists were against it. Jay takes these things hard. So I worry, you know, about what can we expect from the World Wildlife Fund press release about these elephants? "Beer Crimes Against Nature?" "They Would Have Seen The Wires But For The Beer!" What do you think they'll write?